Matthew’s trip to Colorado was such a blur, I can hardly remember the details. I found out the news about my Granny the same day arrived to Denver, and it was honestly unreal.

We stuck with our plans for the most part. Friday, we spent the day in Denver, and Saturday we drove to Rocky Mountain National Park.

First we met Kooch at his house for some pre-gaming fun. Then, we Ubered to 16th Street Mall. My vote was for Cheesecake Factory but we landed at Chili’s for happy hour because it’s actually affordable. From there, we took the shuttle to the pavilions, shopped and Ubered to P.S. Lounge. The shitty service drove us out after one drink (which was such a shame, because I love that bar, but apparently this new chick they hired totally sucks), and so we Ubered back to Kooch’s house before hitting up the gay bar down the street.

It was nice to get out, but like I said, very surreal. I appreciated Matthew trying to be empathetic when he said “Maybe she’s having a bad day”, referring to the bartender at P.S. Lounge. But I had just had the worst day ever the day before, but you didn’t see me ripping off anyone’s head. I guess that’s the difference between those of us with class and grace and others that are straight-up trash.

The following day, Keegan and I took Matthew to the mountains. We didn’t think we needed our snow shoes, because no one else was wearing any and sure enough, the trail was slick af. We regretted leaving them in the car; the next time we’ll know to wear our snow shows in November, even when it’s not that chilly!

We made it to Dream Lake for sunset, and I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at the park so late before without camping. The wind blew strongly and reverberated through my body. Keegan and I agreed later on that it was my Granny there in spirit. I closed my eyes and stretched my arms wide open, as if I was hugging her energy. I cried as the sky changed colors, from light to dark with peachy orange clouds that quickly turned a dark purple hue; it’s one of those things she’ll never get to see with me, even though I swear she’s with me. I felt such a deep sense of sadness and longing and gratitude and peace. Not everyone’s lucky enough to have both of their grandmothers through their late twenties. I still have one living, but losing my Granny was hard. It still is to be honest. Although it kills me that she’s gone, I am so grateful I had a strong relationship with her in recent years.

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The three of us left the park and headed back towards Loveland and Greeley. We ended the night with drinks at Syntax.

The following day, Keegan and I lounged while Matthew slept the day away. By the time he woke up, I was starving. We ate at Red Lobster, played Mario Kart on Super Nintendo and called it a night.

Overall it was a bittersweet weekend. I’m still reeling from the loss of my Granny but doing the best I can.