humor-funny-new-year-resolutions-2016-2017

Well, it’s been fun 2016. But now it’s time to set some new goals. Like every other year, I set these lofty goals and only complete like half of them. But we closed on our house and I earned my Master’s Degree, and that was two of the most important things we needed to accomplish this year. I also refrained from eating red meat for 6 months and worked out more this year than I ever have before. My social circle expanded, I tried over 100 new foods/recipes and I wrote an article for the newspaper. However, I didn’t meditate regularly as hoped, couldn’t join a gardening club (due to scheduling conflicts) and I never hiked a 14er. So with that being said, these resolutions will be on my list again for 2017. But first, let’s talk about what I plan to leave behind in 2016.

  1. Speeding tickets. I landed another one towards the end of November–my first in a year and a half. Luckily for me, when I was pulled over earlier this week I got off with just a warning! That cop was super nice considering I was going 41 in a 30, my brake light was out, my license plate was missing the month sticker on it AND my front plate was in the floor board of my passenger seat. I was honestly so shocked and grateful he didn’t charge me with anything and have since fixed all the legal problems with my car.
  2. Hangovers. I’m getting too old for this shit. Last night, Keegan and I met his coworkers for drinks and a game of Pit. We started with Amaretto sours around 6 and continued with Rumchata shots, Rumchata with Pumpkin Spice Vodka and no milk and another amaretto sour. Then we left and headed to Nick and Regina’s to watch the fight with Amanda Nunes and Ronda Rousey. At least they had some milk; I had two more Rumchata drinks with milk and vodka. Woke up this morning with a minor hangover but still….I am so over it! No hangovers in 2017, hopefully.
  3. Undermining my professional abilities. Now that I’ve started reading Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, I’m entering 2017 with a new, confident mindset. I’ve been doing Social Work for 6 years, and now I have a clinical degree. There shouldn’t be any reason why I can’t apply for better jobs–this is the moment I’ve been waiting for.

New Years Resolutions:

  1. Get a new job
  2. Exercise regularly
  3. Meditate regularly
  4. Sign up for Master Gardener Classes (which I’ve already looked up–I still can’t do the Spring classes, because they run during the day, but the fall semester offers courses in the evenings, so I’ll finally be able to do it.)
  5. Hike a 14er
  6. Enter a writing contest or find a way to get paid to write/do reviews

Plus a few other goals that I’m keeping to myself. Because it’s my blog and I can choose to share what I want  🙂

Here’s to another great year! Looking forward to what the future brings. The hubby and I are heading to our neighbor’s soon for fireworks, booze and homemade sushi using a sushi cannon, whatever tf that is. But I’m just glad we have friends nearby that we can kick it with whenever we want. In the meantime, here’s this: