Last weekend turned out to be absolutely perfect. Keegan proposed the day before my birthday. But if I had opened the large present at Omni Hut on Friday, my friends would have witnessed the account. Not to worry, though. I’m grateful how he asked in the park as we walked our dog last Saturday afternoon. Not a single person was around, so we enjoyed the secluded venue. I sat on the ground to open the box, so we were both near the ground when he popped the question.
Now this week feels slightly overwhelming, as I’ve hardly made time to soak in all these feels. Time is slipping away already. I hoped to write about my birthday dinner, the break-beats show to follow, lunch with dad the next day, the proposal, wine and cheese tastings at my house and celebrating my actual birthday on Sunday with Tika as we mapped out the next several months of my life, at Starbucks.
Monday night I completely avoided my homework since we rented Tammy but had yet to watch it. Last night, I nervously logged into my school account to see what awaited me. To my horror, the endless reading assignments felt like a punch to the gut. I had a feeling this semester could be brutal since I’m enrolled in 3 courses instead of two. But the stages of grief washed over me like an inexperienced sailor set to sea without a map.
What the fuck was I thinking by deciding to enroll in grad school?
Denial: Surely it can’t be this much homework.Let’s review the assignments again, and take a deep breath. Holyfuckingshit, I really do have to read 200 pages by Sunday.
Anger: Who the fuck assigns this much to read in the first week back to school?! Don’t they know that some of us work full-time?!
Bargaining: Maybe I should give up the Etsy Shop idea. If I won’t have enough time to study, something’s got to give. Or maybe I should start sleeping 6 hours a day instead of 8.
Depression: Fuck. My. Life. All I want to do is sleep and avoid the world.
Acceptance: Maybe this won’t be so bad. Perhaps I’ll pull from some unknown source of strength and finish the semester with pride. Who knows? Maybe I could read for pleasure on the weekends and get back to my girl, Amy Poehler.
Today I’m leaning more towards the acceptance end of the spectrum. I’m taking extra precautions in self-care such as waking up earlier and eating a healthy breakfast. My most recent go-to has been whole wheat toast with a mashed avacado topped with a boiled egg. I started planning my meals this week (and by this week I mean, last night) so I’m still trying my best to keep up with New Years Resolutions.
The wedding has definitely taken precedence. We booked the venue, I have the dress and our guest list is slowly being developed. Between the wedding, working full-time, grad school, etsy shop AND moving to Colorado, I have a lot on my plate. Let’s hope I can hold it together without suffering a minor mental breakdown. The good news is, the Versa sold today, reaffirming the notion that everything will work itself out. It always has and always will.